This blog will be short. I had a hard few days this week. I felt pretty down. I got myself together really well, it was hard though. It can be really hard to remember all the times that were great in life and how far you’ve come when your feeling down. But it’s important, and that’s what keeps me going. I think that can help us in almost any situation when life doesn’t feel like it’s going well. That’s what helps me.
This’ll be a short one. Past few days now I e been going to boxing which have helped me deal with some depression. I love the feeling of hitting the bag and getting rid of some of the anger. I think doing something like that is extremely important. I think doing something to get your mind off the problem your dealing with is important even though it can be hard when you don’t want to.
For a while on the side I’ve been working for a solar company. I’ve had a hard time getting luck with solar since solar is a bigger deal, but for the past few days I’d say I’ve been having some success. Yesterday I had 5 that were interested, and today 3. I’d say that I’ve improved in sales a lot. It can be hard, and I’m not the greatest at overcoming objections at times, but I’m happy with how far I’ve come and continue to go further. And today I knocked 100 doors for solar. I got 3 that were interested. Im happy with my progress.
This’ll be a short one. Today I sort of had a small adventure. I went and rode scooters in downtown salt lake. It was pretty fun. It can be fun having an adventure all by yourself. I think it’s important to do that once in awhile. For me it’s a way to relax, but also a way for me to think about how I can improve the in my life.
I just had a thought the other day about how depression feels sometimes. It feels kind of like your in a dark room and since your in their for a long time, it feels almost impossible to leave. It’s really hard. But part of what helped me was realizing people who believed in me and wanted me around. My brother who I work with a lot helped me and still helps me realize my potential. That means a lot to me. Also my family has helped me. I would also say my confidence has gotten better over the past year because of the people in my life that have helped me.
Over the past two years my life has changed. Two years ago I was extremely depressed and wanted my life to end. And a year ago I wasnt happy where I was. I was earning only $7 an hour at the DI which truthfully didn’t feel was for me. Then one night I get a call from my brother at my apartment in st George. He tells me to make a plan to move up to Provo. He also told me that there was an opportunity to work for a solar company as a salesman. I remember feeling really scared and almost said no to both, but I decided to say yes and take a chance. I quit the job at the DI, and made my plan. Right after I agreed to make those decisions and my life totally changed.
Not long after that,I started to do really well with the solar company, and a few months later I moved up north. I am really glad that I made that decision because it changed my life.
Yesterday I decided to push myself to get 15 curbs. It was exhausting. But I’m glad I did. Today I only did 13 cause two people decided they didn’t want it, but I’m glad I did them. I’ve only been able to get about 8 in a day. The reason I decided to to go for 15 was to see what I’m made of and prove something to myself. I’m glad I did because now I know I can do that and more. I think it’s important to push past our limits to see what we’re made of.
A few days ago, I went fishing with a friend of my dads. We went to strawberry reservoir. It was a good time. After we were done fishing, we had a long talk on the way back. This friend of my dads new us since we were young. When I was a kid, I didn’t act the way most kids would act. I was kind of worried n my own little world. I just remember him telling me how far I’ve come over the years. My point is that many autists in a way outgrow the habits they had when they were young and mature. I believe that happens because it happened to me.
A few days ago, me and my brother talked in the car for alittle bit. We were talking mostly about life. We talked about how it kind of sucks just going through the motions in life. Work, go home, and repeat. Now those things aren’t bad, but that’s how the cycle of life for most people is. Many days I’ve gotten up and have really gotten up because I felt like I had to, I felt like I had no real reason to get up. Don’t we feel like that sometimes? I sometimes wonder near the end of our lives, will everything that we did be worth it, and if we lived life to the fullest.
I think one of the hardest things for me in life is dealing with difficult people, or when someone gets frustrated with me. It’s hard. I think that is a trait that autistic people have to deal with. For example, I remember when I was young, if I made a mistake in sports, some of the guys would get alittle irritated, same with the coaches. For me sometimes if I get called out for something, it’s easy to take it harsh even though it shouldn’t come across like that. I’ve learned to take it well now, but as a good I wasn’t very good at handling stuff like that. Sometimes autists may have a hard time with that stuff, because they may not understand. I think it’s good that people know that.